The room with painted blue walls is a soothing, calm and quiet place. There are fidget toys and books to look through and a weighted blanket for comfort and warmth. There is also a rocking chair, bookshelf, noise-reduction headphones, a big bean-bag chair, a weighted stuffed animal waiting for little arms to hug it close.

This is the “Still Waters Sensory Room” at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Maplewood, New Jersey.

The space has been well-used by the Antony Galdi-Pavitra Makam family, who had previously experience a difficult time going to church consistently, as it was difficult for son Kai, 9, and daughter Rumi, 5, who are neurodivergent.

“My son Kai has anxiety and ADHD, and my daughter Rumi, has a rare genetic disorder,” mom Pavitra told the Register. “One of us would stay home with the kids; the other would go.”

Autism also once made it difficult for Percy Losardo to attend Mass.

He was 6 years old at the time, and it was “really hard for him to sit the entire time through the Mass,” said mom Lark. “One of us would ultimately miss the end of Mass to give our son that respite he needed from sitting in the Mass.”

Then, four years ago, they moved to Maplewood and became parishioners at St. Joseph’s.

Everything changed for both families when St. Joseph Church blessed and opened the new Still Waters Sensory Room last Dec. 8 on the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. “This room is a Godsend. It has been life-changing for us,” Pavitra explained. “In the last couple of months, we have all been able to go to church together as a family every Sunday.”

When the Losardos learned of Still Waters, Lark’s “immediate thought was, ‘Wow, I really wish this was around when my son was younger. It would have just saved our experience and his experience in attending Mass.’ I was so overwhelmed by what a wonderful idea and what a source of comfort it is to have that in our church. I went home and I told my son about it and said, ‘Why don’t you come check it out?’”

Percy, now 14, did. The bean-bag chair is a favorite of his.

Lark explained that “a simple Mass can be overwhelming to someone with sensory issues.” For her son, “he becomes very anxious and starts fidgeting a lot. He needs to get his energy out or get a break from all the noise. So having that space has been amazing. Now we can go as a family.”

Rumi’s rare genetic disorder has various symptoms, one being leg pain, so she has trouble sitting on the hard pew for long periods. Now, her mother reports, “She loves going to the room, sitting on the bean bag or on the little rocking chair, putting her legs up and sitting on a soft cushion. The pain subsides and she’s able to go back [to Mass].”

Rumi also is sensitive to noise. “Sometimes being in the main church can be a lot for her. She gets overstimulated by the sound, so she likes to go sit in a quiet room, take a minute,” her mother added. “We read a book or listen to the sound machine, and then she comes back and is able to get through the rest of the Mass.”

Kai also “uses the room to reset,” his mother explained. “He plays with some of the fidget toys, recharges, and then he’s able to come back to Mass and we can finish as a family.”

“It’s good to have that time in the room to regroup,” said the children’s appreciative mother. “It’s been really beneficial for all of us.”

Still Waters’ Solution

The idea for the Still Waters Room began with Father Jim Worth, the pastor.

“Many families have come up to me through the years and have said in casual conversation how they’d like to go to church, but their child or young adult is dealing with autism or a disability,” Father Worth explained.

“We have gone the extra mile trying to find ways in which we can make those who sometimes can be on the periphery or not even come at all feel welcome and belong,” he said. He knew Kimberly Takacs, a parishioner and founder of Together We Bloom, a nonprofit for neurodiverse children and families with a “mission to empower young children with disabilities through equitable access to connection, communication, and community,” could assist this important mission.

Father Worth had one large confessional room unused since COVID. “With her organization and myself, we put together a room very inexpensively, under $1,500,” he told the Register.

As executive director of Together We Bloom, Takacs and colleague Janelle Gera designed the room. “What you want is a soft environment,” she told the Register. The aim is to reduce sensory stimulation.” There is a vibrant stained-glass window, but the room’s “dark blue color helps tone down the bright, colorful stained glass in it.”

Takacs said “a lot of compassion and care went into its creation.”

The room provides a space of calm when needed, Father Worth said. “The goal is just to be in there for a short time. It’s not a ‘crying room.’ There is no access to watching the Mass. We don’t want that because we want them to belong to the community. Once they have managed to calm down and feel safe again, they then mainstream into the congregation and continue with the Mass.”

The pastor emphasized, “This type of help to make them feel that they belong here is critical in our nonverbal language as well as our verbal [language].”

Lark appreciates that son Percy “has this autonomy that he can move back and forth” on his own. “But for families whose children are younger, it’s equally important because it gives the parent a place to bring their child to get some respite, and then they can return back to the pews with their mother or father.”

Personal and Papal

Anne Masters, director of pastoral ministry for persons with disabilities for the Archdiocese of Newark, New Jersey, believes what is happening at the parish “is consistent with Catholic social teaching principles of respect to the innate dignity of all people.”

She told the Register the archdiocese recognizes those with disabilities and various differences “are still very much marginalized in many areas, including in the Church oftentimes. So Pope Francis has been very strongly advocating it as an issue of justice, [and] rightly so.”

Masters added, “It’s a clear example of saying we understand that there are folks who do need to be able to step out and are experiencing sensory overload and just need to be able to be present in this space, the church, but may need to pause and reset.”

Takacs has heard many positive stories, including from “those who feel comfortable bringing their disabled child to Mass for the first time because they know they’re not just welcome here but that they truly belong.”

Pavitra hopes other churches follow St. Joseph’s example. “It’s so necessary, and it helps everyone feel like they are being accepted and they belong.”

To anyone wishing to achieve this goal, Father Worth is ready to share advice: “We’d be glad to help.” (Learn more at SJCMaplewoodNJ.org; also email [email protected].)

As Lark Losardo said, “The really big message is it’s so wonderful to have that option. It makes you feel that you’re included. When I realized that there would be this space for my son, if he so chooses to use it, it made me realize that I made the right choice by going to this parish. It was like this big welcoming sign — whatever your child needs, whatever it might be, whether it’s having to sit in a sensory room or having to sit on a pew or having to stand in the back, whatever it is, all of it is welcome.”