In the story about the emperor’s new clothes, the adults kowtowed to the king’s fantasy that he was dressed in fine garb, but a child had the courage to speak the truth. Today, speaking honestly can lead to efforts to “cancel” the speaker. Still, in his recent commencement address, Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker courageously told the truth, when he alluded to the “diabolical lies” about homemaking that are prevalent in our society. As a result, Butker has suffered a barrage of ugly responses on social media, with some people accusing him of demeaning women. 

Speaking at Benedictine College, Butker addressed some comments directly to the female graduates: “I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you.” He acknowledged that some might be dreaming about future careers, but also ventured a guess that “the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into the world.” Butker, who is Catholic, praised a vocation that gets little media attention these days, namely full-time homemaking, calling it “one of the most important titles of all.” He also showed the vital importance of full-time homemaking by praising his wife, Isabelle: “She is a primary educator to our children. She is the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father.” 

Tragically, in standard feminist tomes, motherhood and homemaking are seen as obstacles, rather than a joy, a blessing and the forging of lifelong relationships. The everyday delights and accomplishments of homemaking are severely downplayed in society. No mention is made of a mother laughing with her children, playing games, educating them, showing them how to plant a garden and care for younger siblings. In one of the groundbreaking books of feminism, The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan called the suburban home “a comfortable concentration camp” where women suffered a “slow death of mind and spirit.” 

In their efforts to get women to exit the home, feminists redefined homemaking as repetitive and unfulfilling. Men’s jobs were touted as inherently interesting and challenging, despite the obvious fact that many men have tedious jobs that come with little applause. French feminist Simone de Beauvoir in The Second Sex compared housework’s tasks to the torture of Sisyphus. As she put it, “The housewife wears herself out running on the spot; she does nothing; she only perpetuates the present.” This comment completely overlooks the lasting influence mothers have on their children’s intellectual, emotional and spiritual development. Alice von Hildebrand, a Catholic theologian who called de Beuvoir her “philosophical archenemy,” celebrated the inherent value in motherhood: “One day, all human accomplishments will be reduced to a pile of ashes. But every single child to whom a woman has given birth will last forever, for he has been given an immortal soul made to God’s image and likeness.” 

One dangerous premise of feminism is the denial of God’s existence. Without God to create male and female natures, then anything is possible. In Genesis, Eve was called “mother of all the living,” which means that mothering is an inherent feminine trait. Of course, mothering need not only be biological, as women can also spiritually, intellectually and emotionally nurture others. But feminists rejected the role of nurturer, since it usually entailed caring for one’s biological children. For Friedan and others, mothering was a burden, a terrible reduction of a woman's freedom, the loss of her chance to be acknowledged by the “world” outside the home. Women must be free to choose their own way in the world, this thinking goes, unless that way is homemaking. 

The use of the word “diabolical” in Butker’s speech was certainly appropriate. In their efforts to redefine womanhood, feminists essentially have made a pact with the devil. They recognize that the biggest obstacle to a woman having a career is often a child. This is why they have insisted that abortion must be protected as a “right.” It is tragic when children are redefined as problems, rather than as gifts from God, and when their lives are no longer seen as priorities. Today, the fight to pit mothers against their children is ongoing in the efforts to enshrine abortion rights in state legislatures.

The anti-homemaking position arises from a denial of the inherent differences between women and men. Rather than valuing the fact that women are endowed with the amazing ability to conceive, carry, bear and nurture a child, feminists seek to downplay or totally eliminate this aspect of women’s lives. The result today is a steep decline in both the marriage and fertility rates. The word “childless” is often replaced with “childfree,” which celebrates the empty nursery. In too many cases, children are no longer seen as bringing joy, but rather as threatening the parents’ freedom. The Christian notion of sacrifice and serving others is replaced by self-fulfillment. 

Butker’s speech is a crucial wake-up call for a culture in danger of forgetting the most important values of life. At the heart of homemaking is the joy that comes from serving and cherishing children and creating a family. Mothers and fathers are indeed doing what Christ advised, when he said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Let’s pray for a world in which babies are blessings, not burdens, and the miraculous nature of motherhood is celebrated.