Charity, Good Manners, and Driving the Interstates

COMMENTARY: Even if the US is not yet a post-Christian country, it is rapidly becoming a post-Christian culture, as demonstrated by the fact that both American high culture and pop culture indulge and often promote bad manners.

The 1960 nationally televised presidential debate between Vice President Richard Nixon (l) and Sen. John Kennedy was notable for the charity that the two candidates, who were in considerable disagreement on many issues, exhibited toward each other.
The 1960 nationally televised presidential debate between Vice President Richard Nixon (l) and Sen. John Kennedy was notable for the charity that the two candidates, who were in considerable disagreement on many issues, exhibited toward each other. (photo: AFP via Getty Images)

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says some interesting things about charity, the supreme theological virtue that, as St. Paul wrote in Colossians, “binds everything together in perfect harmony” (3:14). 

 “The practice of the moral life animated by charity gives to the Christian the spiritual freedom of the children of God. He no longer stands before God as a slave, in servile fear, or as a mercenary looking for wages, but as a son responding to the love of him who ‘first loved us’ (1 John 4:19)” (1828).

“The fruits of charity are joy, peace, and mercy; charity demands beneficence and fraternal correction … it fosters reciprocity … it is friendship and communion …” (1829).

Charity is also the virtue informing good manners. And the sorry condition of good manners among us these days is perhaps a point in favor of those who argue (inaccurately, in my view) that America has become a post-Christian country. But even if we’re not yet a post-Christian country — one in which appeals to Christian truths and moral norms have zero public traction (cf. France) — we are rapidly becoming a post-Christian culture, as demonstrated by the fact that both American high culture and American pop culture indulge and often promote bad manners. And since politics is downstream from culture, that, in turn, suggests that we may well be careening down the road to the desert wastelands of post-Christianity. 

Good manners embody respect for others. Good manners ease the inevitable frictions of social life, which is why good manners were part of a comprehensive code of humane, civilized, adult behavior. Public officials were once expected to display good manners, even in debate; John F. Kennedy and Richard M. Nixon were not terribly fond of each other by 1960, but their four presidential debates were characterized by good manners, not puerile hollering. The two Bush presidents were true gentlemen, and not only in dealing with peers in the corridors of power; both were esteemed by the White House staff because of their good manners (in contrast to the couple that came between them at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue N.W.).

Good manners extend to driving. 

During a busy May week of book promotion events in Poland, I was driven some 1,200 km (746 miles) over excellent superhighways (whose existence proves that the European Union, which funded them, is good for something other than bureaucratic nannying and promoting lifestyle libertinism). And it was striking that good driving manners generally prevail on Polish highways, in sharp contrast to what I experience from sea to shining sea. 

Summer vacation season is upon us, which means that tens, perhaps hundreds, of millions of Americans will be taking to the highways en route to vacations. Herewith, then, and with the Catechism’s teaching that “fraternal correction” is a fruit of charity in mind, are some proposals for good-mannered driving on the interstates. 

Rubbernecking is an offense against good driving manners. Innumerable traffic jams are caused by inconsiderate drivers slowing down to a crawl to ogle a crash scene. Stop it. If your life is so dull that a broken-down car or a collision’s aftermath provides a frisson of interest or excitement, something is awry. Find other stimulants (legal, of course). And when you pass an accident at a reasonable speed, not a crawl, say three Hail Marys for those involved.

Loitering in the left lane is an offense against good driving manners. The Commonwealth of Virginia now deploys electronic signage reading “The left lane is for passing not cruising.” This admonition has had as much discernible effect as King Canute ordering the incoming tide to cease and desist. Car after car squats in the passing lane, blithely (or ignorantly) creating delays for those who learned the elementary rules of the road in “Driver’s Ed.” Paying attention to what’s behind you on the interstates is a sign of respect for others, which is a matter of good manners, which are an expression of charity. So be not a squatter. 

Fiddling with a cellphone while driving is not only bad manners, it’s dangerous. Show some respect for yourself and others by paying close attention to what you’re doing, not to text messages, tweets or other (typically frivolous) distractions. Good driving is an art, like playing a musical instrument, and no musician can play a clarinet and a double bass at the same time. 

The recovery of good manners, understood as an expression of charity, is essential to the renewal of our deteriorating culture. Good driving manners are a modest place to begin that renewal, especially for people of faith.