St. Joseph has slowly changed my life.

I remember first turning to his intercession when I got engaged. For the first time in my life, it hit me: I was getting closer to becoming a father.

All men desire to leave a lasting impact on those around them. Priests and religious accomplish this through their spiritual fatherhood. Husbands and fathers accomplish this through the creation and formation of their own children.

As a young dad of three children under the age of 5, I find myself thinking about Joseph a lot. There is chaos. There are worries. There are fears about what the future will look like. In the midst of it all, there’s so much that Joseph has taught me about what it means to be a dad and a man.

What I have learned from studying the heart of Joseph and asking for his aid can be summarized in two ways: to trust and to be quiet.

When Joseph was faced with Mary’s pregnancy during their betrothal (they were officially married but not living together), he hears from an angel in a dream — and he trusts.

For the rest of his life, he makes it his one mission to safeguard Mary and Jesus. That moment of invitation to trust in God, as he cared for Mary and Jesus, defined the rest of his life. When there was no room for them in the inn, he trusted. When the Child was born in a manger, he trusted. When he had to flee to Egypt because Herod was hunting down Christ, he trusted.

For me, trust can be a struggle. In the midst of so many doubts about the future (health, finances, living situations, kids, etc.), Joseph invites fathers to trust like he did — because God never abandons his children.

Joseph has also taught me to be quiet. In all of Scripture, he never spoke a word. When confronting challenges and his mission from God, his silence is his affirmation. There are no words to say because, like his bride, “thy will be done.”

Then he acts.

As a young father, I have learned (the hard way) the lesson that being quiet allows you to be a better listener. I can be tempted to speak too much in correction towards my children rather than simply be present and listen. Joseph’s witness has shown me the power that comes from making silence your first movement, before doing. It has made me a calmer dad and a more understanding husband.

Both trust and silence are related to Joseph’s No. 1 quality: He was a man of deep and constant prayer. As we continue our Lenten journeys, may we be challenged by his trust and silence so that we can become more dependent on the Lord, who cares for us in the midst of all our daily trials — just like St. Joseph discovered.