“I’m a Christian — I love everybody!” Some of us may say this; some of us may even mean it, at least sort of, at least some of the time. 

But is it true? Jesus instructs:

“Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). 

What would happen if each Christian actually did that, not just occasionally or in the abstract, or under the auspices of general prayers for the world — what if we really did it, daily, concretely? What would that look like? And what might the world look like as a result?

This Lent, I invite you to do so. 

First, make a physical or mental list of people whose actions are filling you with anger and rage, whether public figures, friends, relatives or others — be sure to include the persons in your life, past or present, who have most hurt you and those whom you most care about; the ones whose words, or silence, have caused the most pain, or have cost the most personally.

From this list, choose one to represent the entire list. Then, each day for the rest of Lent, and even the rest of 2025,* pray concretely and specifically for blessings on your chosen representative, and ask God to extend those blessings to the rest of your list.

Do not just pray that God “fix” or change or convert that person. Pray that he showers his love upon them, that he brings them healing and peace and joy. Pray for the blessings you would wish for your dearest friend, big ones and small ones. Pray that he or she experiences good weather, a peaceful commute, a meaningful meal with friends. Pray that he receives good news; that she is given a delightful surprise. Pray that injury or illness is healed. Pray that the wounds of the soul are ministered to; that pain is released and new freedom found. Pray that relationships are restored, that family members are reconciled. Pray that this person discovers new gifts and new joys and a renewed closeness with people who matter and for some good that God wants to give them that neither you nor that person would even think to imagine or ask for.

Think of the best blessings you would pray for for a friend, and then pray for such intentions for those on your list. 

Then and only then, make an act of entrustment to God of all the harm this person has done, threatened to do, or might do in the future. Give to God the sorting out of what must change, be transformed or in some way rectified and brought to justice. 

The goal is not to change your opinion of this person, or to make you feel good — it is unlikely to do either. You don’t need to feel better about this person. It is not even, in this particular exercise, the goal to forgive — while worthy, that involves other work, other spiritual components, for a later date. 

*Note: If the person at the top of your list has caused significant unhealed trauma, it may be best for the sake of emotional health to choose someone else to be your “list representative.” 

Last but not least, if you are in doubt about such prayers’ efficacy, Marietta Jaeger-Lane, one of my spiritual heroes, lived this in real life after the 1973 kidnapping and murder of her daughter. 

This challenge is difficult, so ask God to assist you each day with his grace — and to see God’s love in relation to the person who is difficult for you to love. 

 

Grace Abruzzo speaks and writes on healing and the spiritual life and is a pilgrimage leader for Syversen Touring.