During Lent, Catholics are supposed to increase their prayer, penance and almsgiving. Adults ages 18 to 59 are obligated to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and all Catholics over the age of 14 are required to abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent, per the Code of Canon Law.

But what about pregnant, postpartum and breastfeeding women?

Regarding exemptions to Lenten fasting and abstinence, here’s what the USCCB tells us: 

“Those that are excused from fast and abstinence outside the age limits include the physically or mentally ill including individuals suffering from chronic illnesses such as diabetes. Also excluded are pregnant or nursing women. In all cases, common sense should prevail, and ill persons should not further jeopardize their health by fasting.”

While it’s clear that pregnant, postpartum and breastfeeding women are dispensed from the norms, a woman might ask herself, “Well, what if I want to fast?”

I’ll admit, the guidelines for fasting and abstinence aren’t too difficult: fasting under today’s guidelines permits eating one full meal, as well as two smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal; again, a requirement only for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Abstinence isn’t so bad either; there appear to be more and more satiating meatless options available, and one could eat such a meal without necessarily feeling the burn of “penance.”

As a mom who’s been pregnant four times and currently is breastfeeding, I lovingly encourage fellow pregnant and nursing moms: Please, consider a different penance.

Nutritionists, health-care professionals, government health organizations, and lactation consultants have varying dietary guidelines for pregnant and nursing women, but the consensus is that women must prioritize consuming enough high-quality food in order to nourish their own bodies and their children’s. 

Knowingly depriving your child of the nutrition he or she needs is not meritorious, but extremely problematic, and also unnecessary, given the Church’s clear dispensation for women.

And, for the postpartum woman who just endured massive blood loss and physical trauma in childbirth, regaining strength through rest and nutrient-dense food is essential for healing. 

There’s saintly precedent too for this position. 

Here is what St. Francis de Sales wrote in a letter to a pregnant woman:

"...They tell me that though you are pregnant, you fast, and rob your fruit of the nourishment which its mother requires in order to supply it. Do it no more, I beseech you; and humbling yourself under the advice of your doctors, nourish without scruple your body, in consideration of that which you bear: you will not lack mortifications for the heart, which is the only holocaust God desires from you." (Letter XIX, "To a Lady, Counsels During Pregnancy")

While St. Francis de Sales, the Church, and anyone exercising common sense would agree that a pregnant or nursing woman ought not fast, for the sake of nourishing her child, that doesn't mean women are off the hook completely for Lenten penances.

In fact, St. Francis admits that pregnant women already have so much to suffer:

“... whilst your soul, your strength, your natural vigour is occupied with this work, it must grow weary and tired, and you cannot at the same time perform your ordinary exercises so actively and so gaily; but suffer lovingly this lassitude and heaviness, in consideration of the honour which God will receive from your work. ... [T]ake courage, though feeling your heart a little torpid and sluggish.

“Make profit of this pregnancy in two ways: offering your offspring a hundred times a day to God, as St. Augustine says his mother used to do. Then, in the [troubles] which will come to you, and which usually accompany pregnancy, bless our Lord for what you suffer in making for him a new servant, who by means of his grace will praise him eternally with you” (Letter XVI, “To a Lady, Counsels During Pregnancy”).

I couldn’t have said it better myself! 

Here are a few more alternatives to fasting and abstinence for pregnant and nursing moms:

• When you look in the mirror and notice your changing body, give thanks to God for the gift of life, and resist the temptation to speak ill of yourself.
• With every contraction you face (both Braxton Hicks and in active labor), pray, “Jesus, I offer this pain for love of you and for holiness for my family.”
• While nursing or “nap trapped” (unable to get up because you have a sleeping baby on you), take up spiritual reading rather than scroll on your phone.
• And if you choose to take up food-related penances (with the intention of overcoming vices, versus satisfying vainglory), consider any of these:
  • No fast food or drive-thru coffee (they’re not good for you or the baby, anyway)
  • Denying yourself indulgent food cravings and opting for a healthier snack.
  • Using plain coffee creamer or milk instead of your favorite, fancy-flavored options

St. Francis de Sales is right: Motherhood offers plenty of penances! As women of faith, let us remember to be prudent in our sacrifices and keep the focus on becoming holier, spiritually stronger women this season.