Our children may never consider religious life if we don’t present the option to them. The Register and Faith & Family magazine’s 2006 Vocation Guide tells the stories of how three young people heard God’s call, and we’ve provided a list of resources for families to use to help their sons and daughters discern if God might be calling them, too.

GOD’S CALL

Frequently Asked Questions

What if someone has a desire to have a wife and children, but also feels that he may have a calling to the priesthood? We put this question to Father Thomas Cook, who runs a yearly vocation camp for young men called Quo Vadis Days (Quo Vadis means: Where are you going?) for the Diocese of Winona, Minn.

“I want men in the seminary who would be excellent husbands and fathers — naturally speaking,” said Father Cook. “Because grace builds on nature, that means they would also be excellent supernatural fathers. The priesthood is not an escape for men who would be terrible husbands and/or fathers.”

Father Cook said that candidates should spend a year or two in seminary to discern properly.

“Serious discernment with a spiritual director is necessary, not just ‘I’m going to spend a weekend retreat thinking about a priestly vocation,’” he says.

What’s the difference between a brother and a priest?

We went all the way to Australia for this answer.

CatholicOZVocations.org.au is an excellent Australian vocations site.

“A brother is a member of a religious community who commits himself to Jesus by the same vows as a religious priest. The fact that he is not ordained does not mean he is less a member of a community. Rather, it shows community life to be a gathering of brothers, joined together in a common purpose. Brothers work in just about every imaginable capacity; you name it, they probably do it. The priest, on the other hand, has a distinctive sacramental role: celebrating Eucharist, baptism, and penance. He may work in other areas as well, but sacramental life is his special ministry,” said the site.

How smart do you have to be to be a priest? I am worried that I might not do well in the seminary.

Vocation.com, a top U.S. vocation site, answered this one this way:

“To be a priest you ordinarily have to be able to handle college studies. Don’t be afraid of the studies. If God is calling you, you can do it with an extra effort. You may even surprise yourself. And remember, studies are only a means to an end. They are not your goal in life.”

PARENTS GUIDE

14 Practices for Parents

The Legionaries of Christ’s success with vocations is well known. Less well known is the statistic that the congregation’s vocation work — which includes Vocation.com — yields far more non-Legionary vocations than Legionary ones.

To ask how families can nurture religious vocations in their children, we asked the advice of Legionary Father Anthony Bannon, LC, rector of the Legionaries’ Our Lady of Thornwood, a training and education center in Thornwood, N.Y.; Legionary Father David Steffy, principal of Immaculate Conception Apostolic School, a college prep school for boys interested in the priesthood, located in central New Hampshire; and Legionary Father Owen Kearns, publisher of Faith & Family and the Register.

1. Speak often of Christ in terms that endear your children to him. Let his name be part of the family vocabulary.

2. Help them grow, according to their age, in their relationship with God and knowledge of their faith. The lives of the saints are a great source of inspiration for children — and adults. They should also be able to receive the sacrament of reconciliation frequently and have access to spiritual direction.

3. Pray for your children and for whatever vocation God is calling them to, and teach them to do the same. The greatest and deepest wish of every parent for a child is that he or she discovers and does God’s will for his life. This will be your child’s greatest guarantee of happiness, and your major concern. Pray. No matter what his vocation is, he will have difficulties and temptations to overcome. There will always be the mirage of an “easier way” shimmering invitingly on the horizon.

4. Each morning, place the vocation of each of your children under the protection of Jesus through Mary. Be courageous and ask for the blessing that they be called to consecrated or priestly life.

5. Teach your children to be open to God by your example. Try to imitate Mary in the way you deal with your children. Love them as you teach them to love Christ. They are going to absorb your priorities from the thousand ways you reflect them during your day, and if your example is consistent, most probably they will in time adopt your priorities as their own.

6. Do not push consecrated life on them, but do not be silent either. Answer questions — at times bring them up yourself — and raise possibilities, but do so always with a sense of freedom and love.

7. Enable participation in outreach, service, or missionary work, which is very important for young people. It is here that they’ll see how much Christ and the Church need them, and begin to understand how much they have received and how much they have to give.

8. Demonstrate a healthy and beautiful married and family life. Most vocations come from Catholic homes where the faith is practiced and passed on, and where the children can grow up experiencing in their own homes the beauty and dignity of the married vocation, the fidelity and depth of true love. The importance of this cannot be exaggerated.

9. Speak about the need for priests and consecrated persons. Seek contact with priests and consecrated persons who can serve as role models.

10. Always speak positively about bishops, priests, and consecrated persons. Your respect will give your children the interior freedom to consider a possible vocation.

11. Have a well-rounded concept of the education of a child, and do not neglect the formation of his character, self-discipline, human virtues, perseverance, and physical health. What you are really doing is preparing the ground so that as soon as God begins to give him a hint of what he has in mind for him, he will be able to recognize and respond to the call. You want your children to have principles of faith to guide them and love to move them, but you also want them to have the strength of character to be able to do what might be difficult, to overcome peer pressure, and to be faithful to what they know is right.

12. Develop the mind, memory, and sense of beauty and joy. This includes — but is not limited to — knowledge of the Catechism. Help children develop their critical sense, awareness of objective truth, and appreciation for music and the arts.

13. Pay special attention to their use of the media. It is especially important to monitor children’s access to the Internet, giving them reasons for limitations, and teaching them responsible use of this medium and all media.

14. Remember that Christ wants you to be a holy parent, not necessarily a perfect parent. Seek to sanctify your spouse and children by your love and nurturing — God will do the rest. Vocations come from families that promote life and live as faithful Catholics.

WHERE TO LOOK FOR ANSWERS

Online Discernment

An apostolate of the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi, Vocation.com provides testimonials, Q&A about consecrated life and priesthood, and articles on prayer and meditation to help discernment. Looking for a spiritual director? Vocation.com will help find one in your area.

VisionGuide.org is an online vocation guide (which also comes in a print version). The site maintains a listing of retreat opportunities for hundreds of religious communities throughout the United States and Canada. In addition, there are articles about religious life, Q&A, Find your Spirituality Type, celibacy quizzes, and more.

Discover what St. Robert Bellarmine and other saints advised for discerning a consecrated vocation at VocationInfo.com — a Miles Jesu (soldier of Jesus) website. In addition, there are testimonies and articles on the theology of finding one’s vocation.

Institute on Religious Life’s website, ReligiousLife.com has a “VocationSearch” with a searchable database consisting of more than 100 Catholic religious communities.

The Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious (CMSWR.org) was founded:

— “to establish collaboration among major superiors who desire it;

— “to serve as a channel of communication among major superiors;

— “to provide a forum for participation, dialogue, and education on the patrimony of the Church’s teaching on religious life;

— “to promote unity among major superiors, thus testifying to their union with the Magisterium and their love for Christ’s Vicar on earth; and

— “to coordinate active cooperation with the USCCB.”

The site also has a listing of discernment retreats.

VocationsPlacement.org has a “Retreat” search function that assists in scheduling a brief retreat with a vocation director in the area of your choice.

Is debt preventing you from entering the priesthood? The Laboure Society LaboureFoundation.org provides financial aid to individuals who want to enter the religious life, but whose personal debt is holding them back.

Books & Film

Zelie Redmond hopes her new series of illustrated children’s books, The Adventures of Sister Regina Marie, will familiarize children with religious life. “Nowadays, children do not encounter many nuns, so there is not the same degree of inspiration to the religious life,” Redmond said.

Providing an image — early in childhood — of what religious are like is important to fostering vocations. “I read a statistic somewhere that approximately 25% of nuns accepted their calling from God around the age of 7. And quite often, they were inspired to the religious life by having a teacher who was a nun,” she said.

Redmond will also be releasing a series about the priesthood for boys 5-8 years old and a series called The Missions of Fr. James and Fr. Joseph for boys ages 9-12.

The Sister Marie series is available for $8 from Thejoyofmyyouth.com.

In Amata Means Beloved, a young cloistered nun fights to resolve an inner struggle before her first profession of vows. It’s a riveting fictional tale, but the author, Sister Mary Catharine Perry, OP, is currently a young professed member of the Dominican Nuns at the Monastery of Our Lady of the Rosary in Summit, N.J., (NunsOPSummit.org), so the details of convent life told throughout the book paint a fascinating, accurate portrait of what it’s like to live the contemplative life today. $10.95, from Amazon.com.

Author Michael Rose’s Priest: Portraits of Ten Good Men Serving the Church Today presents a reality check for young men considering the priesthood.

The book focuses on the challenges that 10 real-life priests face in their diverse lives and ministries, from pastor of an inner-city parish to military chaplain to Russian missionary. $14.95, from SophiaInstitute.com.

It’s the What Color Is My Parachute? for Catholics. LifeWork: Finding Your Purpose in Life, by Rick Sarkisian, Ph.D., is a friendly book targeted especially for young people who are trying to decide God’s path for their lives, but it’s an excellent tool for anybody (young or old) looking for career and life direction. Set up in workbook format, LifeWork effectively guides the reader in vocational self-discovery through prayer and reflection. $14.95, from Ignatius.com.

Completely Christ’s: The Radical Call of the Consecrated Life features conversations with Father Benedict Groeschel, CFR, and other men and women who have chosen the consecrated life. The DVD set also includes two talks on vocations by Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. $24.95, from Religiouslife.com/catalog.

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ newly released “Fishers of Men” video presentation focuses on one central idea: “If you want to be a priest, you have to be a real man.” It’s an inspiring introductory resource for anyone considering the priesthood. Watch a trailer at USCCB.org/vocations.

The Lay Brotherhood

Brother Thomas Joseph McGrinder, CFR

“So you’re studying to be a priest?”

That was a question I heard very often during my postulancy and novitiate.

And my response? It usually went something like this:

“Give me a break; I’m just trying to figure out if this religious life thing is for me at all.”

Oh, the glories of initial formation and the struggles of discernment! It was also during this time that I coined my most famous quote to date: In one of my “moments” as a temporarily professed, I uttered aloud (thinking I was alone, and to the comic relief of one brother):

“What am I doing? Where am I going? Who am I!?!”

As time passed, and as I had more experience living as a brother, it seemed as if God were truly putting to ease this restless heart of mine. I became less worried about doing and more focused on simply being … being a brother. One day, as I was reading the section on lay brotherhood formation in our constitutions, the words simplicity and availability struck me very deeply. That is what resonated in my heart. That is what I feel called to be! That is what I love about this life that God has blessed me with.

Simplicity:

Simply love the prayer life: daily Mass, the Divine Office, the Eucharistic holy hour, the Rosary, and the quiet time of reflection.

Simply love poverty: wearing the habit, having few possessions, friaries that are austere yet inspiring, not having everything you want but possessing everything you need.

Simply love fraternity: being available to my brothers in community, and having many other brothers as well. Simply being a brother to all I meet on the street and those who seek assistance at our door.

Simply love the joy of hearing the children call me “brother” and the joy of calling them “brother.”

Simply love living with Christ

present in the poor.

Simply love living with the Blessed Sacrament — Jesus’ true presence.

Simplicity: God’s gift to me — simply to be a brother.

Availability:

In an age where people find it hard to sit still, I desire to be available; to commit to being with the poor; simply to be present to them. Even if you don’t say much, the presence says it all. Like Jesus in the tabernacle, so must the lay brother be.

Whatever he does: Work in the shelter, work with the youth program or daily chores, answering the phones and the door, etc. — it is all really relevant.

His main job is to be: available, to be Christ’s presence in the world like Emmanuel (God with us).

Brother Thomas Joseph McGrinder, CFR,

is now living at St. Pio Friary

in Bradford, England.

(Excerpted with permission from

the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal,

FranciscanFriars.com)

Giving My Life, and Getting It Back — With Interest

Sister Mary Martha Hetzler, OP

Sports Illustrated and boys may be unlikely invitations for a vocation but that is how God called me.

I grew up in Canada, an hour east of Vancouver, British Columbia, but I left after high school to attend Christendom, a small Catholic college in Virginia.

I must confess that although I grew up Catholic, the faith was not the main influence in my decision to attend the college. In fact, once I arrived, I began to go to daily Mass only to impress a boy I liked.

It worked — but it also had the inevitable consequence of deepening my faith. Holy hours, Rosary processions, even classes took on a personal importance as I felt an unexplained desire to absorb everything Catholic. (Ironically, that “boy” is now an ordained priest and here I am in the convent!)

In 1998, I finished my studies in theology and began to teach. After a few years of “coasting” (moving from the East Coast to the West Coast and back), I eventually settled in Delaware, teaching junior high and high school.

Learning was fun, but I could never keep it to myself. The excitement of showing others the beauty and the wonder of it all made me love to teach, from a time even in grade school when my brother and sisters were unwilling pupils. And so I taught, trying to form my students into whole persons, academically, morally, and spiritually. Little did I know that at the same time God was molding me for a Dominican vocation. All the signs were there — even with the schools where I taught: Our Lady of the Rosary and Aquinas Academy.

In the midst of this teaching, I received an article published in a Sports Illustrated magazine to read.

It was about a young woman, an international professional basketball player, who loved what she did, was good at it, had great friends, family, boyfriends, and money … everything. But for her it wasn’t satisfying; she gave it all up to join a cloistered Poor Clare community (see Faith & Family Spring 2006, Everyday Apostles).

It was a very disturbing article for me to read — there were too many similarities of disposition.

With a leap of faith, five months and a visit to St. Cecilia later, I bought a one-way ticket to Nashville, Tenn.

I thought coming to St. Cecilia Convent would be a sacrificial act for me — a complete renunciation of the world. But even more, I thought that I would have to renounce myself to fit into the “sister” mold — stretching, shrinking, squeezing into it at all costs. And while I will take vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience at the end of my novice year, I have learned that religious life is not just about negating or erasing anything, but developing and discovering who I really am.

(Excerpted with permission from

Dominican Sisters

of Saint Cecilia Congregation

Nashville, Tenn., NashvilleDominican.org)

My Life for Christ

Brother Richard Sutter, LC

I first thought about the priesthood when I was 17 years old during a weekend visit with my cousin to a Trappist monastery in Conyers, Ga.

After a conversation with my father, I spoke with the vocation director of our archdiocese. He told me that I should go to college first.

In the fall of 1987, I began undergraduate studies at Belmont Abbey College in Belmont, N.C., where Abbott Placid Solari, OSB, was my spiritual guide throughout college and in the years that followed prior to entering the Legionaries of Christ.

Along with graduating, I was commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Army on May 10, 1991.

Throughout my years of military service, I continued to ask the questions that lingered from my college years: Why do I believe what I believe? Do I truly act in accordance with these beliefs? What am I supposed to do with my life? Will the military be my career? Will I find a wife? Is God calling me to be his priest?

I even included looking into the priesthood as an option when getting out of the military. Yet during my high school, college, and military years one important thing was absent: a constant prayer life.

In March of 1997, I was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army as a captain and began a career as an information technology project manager at the corporate headquarters of Quest Diagnostics in Teterboro, N.J., just outside of New York City. It was an excellent career opportunity with a promising future; after two years, I had received two promotions and three pay raises. But while my business opportunities increased, so did my life of prayer, along with a more frequent reception of the sacrament of reconciliation and Mass attendance during the week.

In January of 1999, I signed up for a Legion-sponsored “Test Your Call” retreat at the novitiate of the Legionaries of Christ in Connecticut on the weekend of Feb. 20. After a business trip to Pittsburgh that enabled me to visit my cousin at Franciscan University at Steubenville, Ohio, I made the resolution to attend Mass, pray my Rosary, and pray morning and night prayers every day. This resolution, inspired by the Holy Spirit, helped prepare the fertile ground of my soul for the retreat.

On the first day of the retreat I knew decisively and definitively that God wanted me to test my call during the candidacy program that summer. The three months of candidacy and next two years of novitiate were the most spiritually enriching years of my life and, with the help of God’s grace, resulted in my total consecration to God when I professed my vows on Sept. 1, 2001.

I am currently studying philosophy at the Legion’s Center for High Studies in New York and never let a day go by without thanking God for this unmerited gift of my vocation.

“My Life for Christ!”

Excerpted with permission

from Vocation.com.